I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize