talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
