90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize