So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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