would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
