I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
you never un-have a 4some
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
