We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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