I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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