you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
