I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
