I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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