Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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