Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize