k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
