Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
