im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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