her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
