The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
