that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
