Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
