stop calling my apartment porn island.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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