i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
