I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
