and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
