her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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