the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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