Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
