I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
