I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.