If i come over, it means nothing
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.