What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.