I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!