Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her