Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica