I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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