woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
