Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I want to make a zoo with you.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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