Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
