sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
