I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
