Got a toothbrush?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
