like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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