i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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