Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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