OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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