I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
