Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
