ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
