Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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