Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
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At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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