just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
