margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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