You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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