yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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