it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We left the knife in your bed.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Drake has all the answers
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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