How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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