So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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