Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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