Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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