butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
