With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
