were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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