All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
