I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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