We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
