thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
