Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
