I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
