I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
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