i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
party gras won. party gras always wins.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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