apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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