I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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